...Because I want to share with the whole world.

The day after I posted my last post the man of my dreams, the man that God intended me to be with, the man who will stand beside me for the rest of our lives .......proposed to me.
Of course I said "Yes."
It was the most wonderful moment of my life (so far... I know that in the future I'll have other 'most wonderful moments')

As one person said to me on facebook, "Maybe you should have written in the blog about "the one" sooner!!!" Maybe I should have...
-haha!-
But I know that Steve waited until the 'perfect timing'

We both knew  very shortly after we began dating,  that we were perfect for each other, and we knew that this was 'the real deal' and we were both done looking for a spouse... we just knew. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there... but we did. and we do 'just know' --- we get along so well, we work out any problems/differences immediatly, we dont wait before it blows up... but all in all, we 'just knew'
I had heard of people "just knowing" that they met the right person, I've rolled my eyes, I'll admit that.. thinking 'oh yeah.. SURE....." then begin talking to people and say "that wont last long... like they know that is the person for them after a month...."

Its true. It happens.
Happened for Steve and I, at least. :)

Our families both think that we are 'great for each other' and after announcing our engagement to at least my grandparents, and other family members they all bascialy said "thats no surprise, it wasnt a matter of 'if' but WHEN..." was comforting to know that they all Knew that we were perfect for each other.

If you're interested in the proposal story you can find it on our Blog. :)

So since this is all going on in my personal life,  you may be seeing posts that relate to relationships,engagements , preparing for marriage, and stuff like that, since thats what I'm going through. I'll try to make sure to do 'normal' stuff too though.

all in all everythign that I do write about, It will be something that will be placed on my heart by God.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes, the prayers, and everything during this time.

Dating?Single?... Guard Your Heart.

This is a topic that has touched my heart, and you may see more about it later... in fact you can probably count on it. This is intended for teens, singles, young adults, if you're dating.... most likely for girls, (since I'm writing from a girl's point of view) but I think guys can learn from it as well....

if you arent in that category, dont feel left out, you can still read :)

I by far am not perfect, nor have I been, I want to put that out there right now. One thing I've realized... you can change. you can turn around. It's never too late.

No matter how far you think you are... you can still change.
You can have a relationship that God intended.

maybe you are in a relationship and you're reading this, and you know that it is not the kind of relationship that God has intended for you.
you can change.
You can turn around. But its your decision. no one elses. If you want a change for your life, you will have to take the first step to turn around or do what you need to do. No one else can make that decision for you.

Maybe you are single and are yearning to be in a relationship with someone... I hope you can gain some perspective on all of this.


I've been in relationships, I've dated. I've been with guys who I knew I wasnt going to marry, and yet I still was in a relationship with them.

I know that Im not the only one here. I know people personally and people that I hear about,

... But I think that there is alot of people that struggle with this - They struggle in relationships.They struggle with dating, and wanting to date.They struggle with being with someone because they feel that they 'have to' or feel obligated to. They struggle because they know that that person is not helping them in any way.

Most people (especially in their younger years - teens and young adults) they think whats best for me right now... they think in the moment, not the future.
I know I did. it was selfish. - I was thinking about what I wanted right then. I never thought about how it would effect my life in the future... 
Like many people I dated a few guys in high school, and a few after. A few of them were long term, a few of them were very short. I do not know the psychology behind it all, but im sure you could do some kind of analysis on it... at times I wonder "why was I even with that guy..." -- because at that time I saw something in him... people around me may have said "what do you see in him?" or "why are you with him" or "he isnt good for you."

What did I do? ignored them. I thought I knew everything...boy was I wrong.

I wasnt thinking. it didnt even cross my mind that this guy was not for me, this guy is not the guy that God intended for me to be with....
I was a teenager, wasnt thinking about the man that God intended me to be with.... wish I would have, though... oh I wish I would have, would have been so much better.[but everything happens for a reason]
it would have been better because I wouldnt have wasted time, energy, feelings, and heartache afterwards. I would have really been preparing my heart for that man that God created for me. not living in the moment, and not following God.

Speaking from a girls point of view, well at least mine. I just feel like so many young women are with a guy... just to be with a guy...to have that 'facebook relationship status' of  "in a relationship"... you're taken. you aren't single... you have someone that you are with.  being "in a relationship" isnt always that great.

Sometimes being in a relationship actually hurts us, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it hurts us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

[If you are with a guy/girl that hurts you in those areas, then he is not the one for you. I can guarantee that. and no, you cannot change them.]
You are supposed to lift each other up, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, not tear the other person down. you are supposed to support one another and just help each other along. Both... not just one person.

You may be better off by having that 'single' status.
 the guy/girl  that you are with may completely demolish any kind of morals and standards that you had... they may take advantage of you, they may cross a boundary that you are not ready to cross...  you may think in your head "it will be better later" or "ill get used to it." You may believe their lies or change your life to fit them. You may think to yourself "oh well they'll change." [when will they change?]  you may think "oh they will be better if we move in together / get married"  [will it?]
I know that these things happen. I've been there, done that... these are thoughts that I've had. Im going to be honest... I wish that I would have seen things before things got worse.
I wish I would have just kept that 'single' status and waited for the guy that God intended for me to be with.
I know that "things happen for a reason"- but the things that we choose to do should not become excuses for 'things happen for a reason."

Im going to share a life story here.

After being in relationship after relationship, and was no longer in one.. I began to pray for the man that God was preparing for me.

 I met the guy that God was preparing for me just a bout 2 months after I began to pray. (God was working on me during that time too)
When Steve and I first began to date, just a few dates in, Steve told me that he had never been in a relationship before...
I asked why.... (this was all odd to me, seemed like everyone around me had been in some kind of relationship at least in high school or something...) nope. not Steve.
He said that he really wanted to be in a relationship with someone that he could see himself marrying one day... the person that God intended for him to be with....
[now this was an inspiration....]
kind of took me by surprise. like I said, everyone that I've known has at least had some kind of relationship in middle school, high school, college.

[and I had wished that I would have done the same, would have been good...]
but its something that we all need to realize...
I wish more people would learn at a young age. really take it to heart... like what Steve did.
[waiting to really date until you found someone that you really felt like they would possibly be the person that you are to marry one day.]

I know that I'll be talking about all of this in the future, and will have more verses, but for just this post, I want to really take to heart one verse:

Throughout life we hear the word "love" thrown around  with very little thought.
When in actuality it is supposed to mean something very deep, not just "I love ice cream"...
We should be living to find that ONE love.. that one person... not a shallow love, but a deep love...
Does that make sense?
now I know this is sounding like I'm saying not to date, I am not.. just saying guard your hearts when you do date, if you know that this person is not the right one for you... then its time to drop them, and move along.
Just guard your hearts and dont just give your heart away in a heartbeat.
save your full heart for that one person that God intended for you.
Don't give your heart away like its meaningless. [its not, you're more than that... you know this]
There are girls out there, [you know who you are] who have reached an age where they think that they wont ever meet a man, they wont ever get married, they will end up like a crazy cat lady, single, lonely... and wont ever meet that guy.
Dont give up. no sense in that.

God is preparing your heart for that man/woman.
and God is preparing your future husband/wife.
Please don't take it personally that you wont ever find anyone.

Want someone that you can spend eternity with, someone that will lift you up in all circumstances. Someone that will pray for and with you. Someone that is right FOR you. Someone that God created just FOR you.

Don't be rushed.

All in time everything will happen. There's a time for everything.

So once again, be careful who you date. Guard your heart. and pray for your future spouse. They are out there... :)

Do Everything Without Complaining

The last month or so I only have been writing about Jesus' walk to the cross. It was very much on my heart to write about His walk and details on it. It was important to me to not do any other post during that time, because I know if I would have had a "break" in there while writing about His walk to the cross, I know that I would have never finished it. It was very much on my heart to make sure to finish it.




We've all heard people, we've all said it.... 

^{"ugh its so hot!"
"Why doesnt my phone EVER work!""
""whay are my bills so high?
"gas is too expensive."
"I'm hungry"
"I want chocolate"
"My feet hurt from these shoes"
"my husband/wife makes me so mad"
"the kids are driving me crazy"
"I hate having to wash the dishes/laundry..."
"I am too fat."
"I dont want to workout.
"im too tired..."}


This is just a short list of things that we hear on a daily basis.

A few weeks back seemed like all I heard was negativity - just everyone was complaining about something, including myself. It really was getting to me and getting to my spirit, just had a negative outlook on everything. I was trying to figure out why all of a sudden I felt "blah" just everything was going wrong, I realized that I had woken up fine, and everything had gone great, but as soon as I got around some people, who were complaining, and they were constantly complaining, I fell into their negativity. When I realized that it was their negativity that was overflowing into my positivity... I stepped back, took a deep breath, and then got on the internet. I looked up "Bible verses about complaining."- it brought up a verse - that was like "HELLO!!!"

^{Philippians 2:14}
 Do everything without grumbling or arguing

Can't get much more simple than that...

reread it... DO EVERYTHING WITHOUT GRUMBLING OR ARGUING.....

DO EVERYTHING!
Not just somethings, not just at times that you want to, or when your spirit is 'negative'
but NEVER grumble or argue.

This is a command. this isnt a suggestion, this is God commanding us to do everything, no matter what it is without complaining.

When things go wrong, or the way we dont want, or something, USUALLY first instict is to complain, grumble, argue...
(are you guilty of this?)

I am going to admit that I complain alot. I really do. and this is something that has hit me, that I really need to work on.I have recognized that. and I have already begun.

I have found that it's best to think first before you speak.
(simple? no.)
but think : "is this a positive thing to say or a negative thing?" or "am I complaining or arguing?"  or  that old saying "What Would Jesus Do?.... Would Jesus say something like this... "if Jesus was here, would I still complain about this?"
you get the idea.

If the statement is negative, turn it around into something positive.

or if you cant think of anything positive do as I know my parents used to say

"if you cant say anything nice, don't say anything at all...."

It starts with your mind, starts with your outlook on life.

If you look with a negative outlook on life, then you're going to see negativity... if you look with a positive outlook, you're going to see positivity.... Starts with you.
and you get to decide on how you are going to do things.

Even though those around us effect us and how we are, dont use that as an excuse to be negative. Use that through good to make a difference....

God uses the good bad and ugly situations all for good.

God works through us in all things that we are going through. And when our focus is on grumbling, complaining, that does not lead us to God. We are not putting God first in those situations, we are focused on us, how we feel. which can lead to many things, such as selfishness,anger, gossip, and such, Rather than giving our praise to God, having compassion and forgivness as God has intended.

Set a different pace for those around you.
If you are like me and are surrounded by people who complain, set a different pace--- instead of participating, maybe say something positive. begin to bring in positive into our lives.
Stop looking at things through a negative view point.

I know I'm tired of all of the negativity in the world, Im ready to see some positive attitudes.

Are you?

"It is Finished"

We have made it to the final hours.

Thank you for joining me on this journey through the last hours of Christ's Life.

If you have not been following, please know that I have been writing about the last hours of Christ's life. feel free to go back in the older posts to read about all that has happened so far.

I have  been going through a book written by Dawson McCallister "A Walk with Christ to the Cross." I highly recommend it.

Friday 3-6pm

Even at the most painful time - Jesus was still  caring for others. 

From the slits of his beat up eyes, He sees His mother, Mary, standing before Him.

Then all of a sudden everything changes.

Although its mid day - late in the afternoon... remember its about 3-6pm that evening. and then all of a sudden darkness envelopes the city - Pitch black!Perhaps it was Gods way of saying that his Son was about to go through some terrible darkness.

Matthew 27:

⁴⁵ From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. ⁴⁶ About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli,^[c] lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).^[d]

⁴⁷ When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

⁴⁸ Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. ⁴⁹ The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

⁵⁰ And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit

The crowd misunderstood Jesus call. They thought He was calling out to Elijah to help Him. 

A Jewish tradition taught that Elijah would come before the Messiah and introduce the Messiah to the poeple - The crowd at the cross thought that this was a joke that Jesus would be calling out to Elijah at this time.

John 19:29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. ³⁰ When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Jesus turned to the soldiers and said "I'm thirsty" Then He was offered a sponge filled with sour wine, just enough to loosen His dry and swollen tongue.

Then in victory He yelled out "IT.... IS..... FINISHED"

In the original language, its actually just one word "Tetelestoi." it was said in the context of "it's paid in full" or "Perfect completion." 

Jesus had completed the work that God had sent Him to do. and Jesus surrendered His spirit and died.

This is the conclusion to my series on Christs walk to the Cross. The story continues on with Him rising from the day a few days later.

Perhaps in the future I will write on the ressurrection, but I feel that up to this point is where we need to leave off for now. 

I dont know where you are in your faith. but I do hope that this has helped you in some way. I know that for me, I have had a different perspective of Jesus over the past month or so especially when I sing, or hear when someone says about "Jesus dying for us." puts it in a different perspective of how much pain and suffering He really went through during this time.

The Criminals

We are getting close to the end of looking at Christ being crucified. If you haven't been following along, I suggest that you go back in the past posts, and take a look at the details of Jesus' walk to the Cross.
I have been reading the book "A Walk with Christ to the Cross" By Dawson McCallister. A book that I highly  recommend.
So, continuing on  -
Jesus spoke while He was on the cross. He never wasted words, but when He uttered something from the Cross, it meant just that much more because He was going through so much pain and suffering.
In order to speak he had to lift himself up against the spike that was through His feet, then expand His chest to get air in His lungs, and then push the air out while forming words. Each sentence took  an incredible amount of effort.

The first statement he says: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke
 23: 34) Jesus kept on saying that. -- he may have rested for awhile and  then lifted Himself up and then said it again.
But what was Jesus saying here? Was these people really  worthy of forgiveness? Didn't they know what they were doing?
Their hearts were very hard they had spiritual blindness, and no, they didn't know that they were crucifying the messiah. they thought that they were doing God a favor

"Along with Him they crucified the criminals, two robbers, on on either side of Jesus in the middle. [and the scripture was fulfilled that says , 'And He was numbered with transgressors.'] (Matt 27:35a; 38; Mark 15:27-28; Luke 23:33; John 19:18)

It was to be for humiliation - the Jews wanted Jesus to be humiliated- to make sure he was in the middle of two  robbers.
The crowd was able to get very close to them, maybe within 6-7 ft of them, this allowed them to be able to see everything that Jesus was going through.
There was an inscription above on the cross above His head it read :
THIS IS
JESUS OF NAZARETH
THE KING OF THE JEWS.

it was written in the Jewish language, Latin and Greek.

The Romans would put a sign telling the criminals crime, bur Pilate didn't post a crime, but instead gave Him  a title.


When the soldiers crucified Jesus that took His clothes, then divided them up into four equal parts.and the rolled dice to see who would get each part. They left out the undergarment, however which was of one piece, woven from the top down. "lets not tearit," they said "but roll for it, to see who will get it." SO the Scriture was fulfilled that says "they divided my garments among themselves, and for My clothing they rolled the dice." (Matt. 27:25b; Mark 15:24; Luke 23:34b; John 19:23-24)

So there are four soldiers that are guarding Jesus. and they took His last earthly possessions as He hung on the cross. One guy got his sandals, another His belt, one got his head gear, and the last one got His robe.  But then a problem arose - seems that a follower of Jesus made him a seamless undergarment - so the gambled for it.  and fulfilled what it says in Psalms 22:18.

Most scholars believe that He was stripped naked hanging there on the cross. We know that it says in 2nd Cor. 8:69 "you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich,  yet for your sake he became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich"
He became so poor that he lost everything on earth, for us to be rich. Rich in love and in Christ, not rich as in money  or stuff.

There was alot of mocking at Jesus even as he hung on the cross, not able to breath... If he was truly the Son of God, then He ought to come off the cross. But since it wasn't happening, then they concluded that it was fake.
If Jesus had come off the cross they still wouldn't have believed Him. ... their hearts were totally hardened.

Jesus was dying of thirst, he had lost alot of fluids from the beatings and current state. His tongue was so dry it swelled and stuck to the roof of His mouth. and what did  the soldiers do? they stuck their wine to his libs and they mocked Him if you're the king of the Jews, save Yourself. - come off the cross and we'll get you something to drink....

Everyone was telling Him to get off the cross - and if He did, they all would believe - why wouldn't He come down?
It wasn't His weakness that kept Him there, but His strength.  - Plus no one was going to tell God what to do. -- and 3 days later Jesus showed His strength and was resurrected.4
If Christ had come off the cross, then our sins wouldn't have been forgiven, we'd be going to hell.
He loves us so much that He stayed up there on that cross bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders and through all that pain. He bared the pain so that we don't have to go through the pain of hell

The two criminals that were on both sides of Him during that crucifixion . these guys were more than just petty thieves, more than just breaking into homes and stealing. these guys were murderers.  they would rob people and then kill them.  Scholars believe that they were followers of Barabbas ( the thief that Pilate let loose in stead of Jesus) So there's Jesus, with murderers on  both sides.

It has been said that maybe Jesus was placed in the middle of two very bad people ,we can see that Hes there for you, no matter how far away from God you are, no matter how 'bad' you've been.  He came for sinners, all sinners.

There hung the criminals- and they had a glimmer of hope -- they were hearing everyone yelling out to Jesus, that He could save himself, so they said  "if you're the Messiaen, then save  yourself and us !"
Of course He didn't.
both of them began to  insult Jesus, so there's Jesus with everyone yelling at him and taunting him... and his just strung out there, naked and all...
Both thieves had very different roads that led to eternity.  One said "yes" to Jesus; and the other said no.
Taking a look at the one that said 'no' first, - He gave out insults, mocked him.
Even though he said "save me" - he was not saved.
Sure you can say the words to Jesus "save me" but its not about the words you say it but a matter of if you feel it. This thief was  a matter of a selfish plea rather than out of subission to Christ. We know that he died an unsaved man, because Jesus didnt  answer him.

{let that be a lesson to all of us, we can say the words all we want, but in the end its about what it is in our hearts}

Criminal #2 was a different story.
Luke 23:

⁴⁰ But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹ We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴² Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.^[d]”

⁴³ Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

We do not know exactly what caused this criminal to see something different about Jesus - Could have been the sign that hung above Jesus' head that read "JESUS OF NAZARETH KING OF THE JEWS" - Perhaps he had thought to himself 'maybe He is..."
maybe it was the Patience and Silence that Jesus had.
Maybe it was Christs prayers for His enemies forgiveness.
Maybe it was Him crying out to God - When Throughout all the pain and suffering that He was going through, He was still crying out to God saying "Father give them another chance"

How do we know t hat this criminal was saved by Christ? -
We see him stand up for Christ. -- Hes the first one since Pilate's initial response. - The first one since the Garden of Gethsemane  who has taken a stand publicly for Jesus.
He was telling the other criminal 'cut it out - don't you fear God since  we're under the same sentence?"we are going to die. Don't you feel anything about meeting God?"
then he confessed his own sinfulness - in front of everyone -
then said to his friend - we're being punished right we're getting what we deserve.
Then he recognized Jesus for who he was. and then said to him - "remember me when You come into your kingdom." - He doesn't say  I want to sit beside you, or I want to be someone big in your kingdom, but just remember me. that's it, just remember me.

This must have encouraged Jesus - this was the first time that someone had ministered to Him since the angels in the garden. Some say that a smile came across His face. - here was a sinner coming home, that the last hour.
Jesus answered the thief... (which is always a good thing.) "I tell you the truth, today you will be with Me in Paradise."
there are three elements of good news in this sentence.
1. "Today" not tomorrow, or three days from now -- Crucifixion would often last for days, but His words reassured the man that his suffering would soon be over. (Sure enough the Roman soldiers broke the legs of the two criminals , causing them to suffocate to death.
2. "You re going to be with Me." -- no need to be afraid  that very moment you die Ill be right at your side.
3.  you'll be with Me in Paradise.... a place of joy, beauty, peace.


 

The Crucifixion

Matthew 27:
³³ They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). ³⁴ There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it.


Jesus had arrived at the place of the crucifixion, Golgotha, "the Place of the Skull." Some say its named because the mountain resembled the shape of a skull, others  say that it was covered in skulls from those that had been killed by the Romans. We don't know for sure why it was called that.

If Christ hadn't died by late that afternoon (when he did) rather than being buried, His body would have been thrown in the city dump, animals would have scattered His remains... God didn't allow for this. (Acts 2:31 "Nor did His flesh suffer decay")

When the crowd arrived there at Calvary the soldiers offered the victims a drink of vinegar mixed with myrrh. This was a drink to take the edge off from the pain (knockout drink) Christ tasted it, then spat it out -- why would He do this? Wouldn't He want something to take the edge off? Nope. He came to suffer ALL the pain for US!- He wasn't willing to dull His suffering even the slightest bit.

If you know anything about crucifixion, you know its not all fun and games, nor is it pretty and nice. Definitely not the prettiest way to die....
So get ready, this will get intense. While it can be hard to read or even study, its is fundamental to our faith and for us to realize of how much Jesus went through out of His Love for us.
Crucifixion probably began in Persia, Alexander the Great introduced it to Egypt, and Carthage and then the Romans probably learned it from the Carthaginians.
Even though the Romans didn't invent it,  they perfected the torture that was intended for a slow and painful death with more pain and suffering we could ever imagine. It was one of the most cruel methods of execution, normal for slaves, foreigners, revolutionaries, and the vilest of all criminals.In Persia the victim was either tied to a tree or at an upright post, to keep the feet from touching the ground. only later was a true cross used. The upright post (stipes) and a horizontal crossbar (patibulum) there were several variations, based on geographic region and in accordance with the imagination of the executioners.

They threw Christ down onto the crossbar (Patibulum) then they put two "nails" in his wrists.These were not little nails.. these nails were  5-7 inch iron spikes. and about a centimeter in diameter.; we often see images with Jesus having hold in his palms, but the Greek word for palm can also mean wrist. The palm would have been torn, most scholars believe that they were between two small bones on the inner side of his lower arm... they had to be careful not to strike an artery, or he would have bled too fast. Crucifixion is not a quick death.

After nailing His hands, they placed a small block of wood under His back and pusehed His knees towards His chest, and they drove one spike (5-7in long) through both of His feet. The soldiers were carful to keep Jesus' knees high toward His chestwhich would allow Him to push againste the block. this would prolong his life, and the pain.

When the victim's arms and legs were outstretched, the blood would settle toward the bottom of the body - which would cause low blood pressure and a high pulse.- in which the victim would pass out. for this reason, they provided a small block some say it was very sharp...  for the victim to sit on. this kept the blood circulating the the victim would stay conscious in order to experience the intensity of it all.
Often the  pectoral muscles would atrophy (freeze) and we can only imagine the discomfort that settled in the upper arms, neck and shoulders. this meant air would come into the lungs, but not escape, causing them to choke to death. to avoid this, the victim would stand up, placing pressure on this feet in order to relive the pain in the arms and chest...
so as the the victim was struggling and moved in order to find comfort, there was damage to the tailbone since that block that they were sitting on was sharp.
When Jesus' hands and feet were nailed four soldiers lifted up the cross with Jesus on it, and shoved it into a hold dug for the occasion.the jolt of the cross falling into the hole must have been a shock.
This might have been when His bones popped out of joint. ("I am poured out like water, and all my  bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted away within me"Psalm 2:14)

After a few moments on the cross Jesus's body ached violently. nerves in his hands and feet had been shattered, and He began to experience swelling around the joints and His wounds. infection would have quickly invaded His wounds, not only the wounds that he had received getting on the cross, but all the wounds that he had gotten when he was scourged and beaten from the soldiers.

Air can be drawn into the lungs, but cannot be exhaled. Jesus fights to raise Himself in order to get even one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream and the cramps partially subside. Spasmodically, he is able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen.
in the next blog post we will look at what Jesus spoke on the cross.
we have almost made it through the crucifixion.

His walk to the Cross

this stuff will be graphic. but something we've got to keep in mind and for us to realize of the pain that Jesus went through out of His Love and for our Sins.
I have gotten alot of my info from the book "A Walk with Christ to the Cross" by Dawson McAlister.
A book that I highly recommend.
Friday 9am-12pm

The final hour had come.
The cruel and illegal trials of Jesus had come and gone.
He was exhausted, beaten, he was about to face the most torture-filled death in history.But before He was nailed to the cross, He had to endure even more mockery and painful walk from the Praetorium to the place of Crucifixion, which was called" the Skull"

Jesus Is Mocked

²⁷  Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor's headquarters,^[d] and they gathered the whole battalion^[e] before him. ²⁸ And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, ²⁹ and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” ³⁰ And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. ³¹ And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him.

This battalion - like all others consisted of 400-600 men, some who wove thorns  the size of sewing needles into a crown, forcing it onto Jesus' head, they then took a reed, and then used it to smash the crown even farther into his skull. 

The soldiers stripped Jesus of His clothes and put a purple robe and red cape on Him. They had Him sit in a chair, put the reed or stick in His hand, then approached him  in mock to worship.

They spat in hHis face and grabbed the Stick and hit Him with it. Then they draped His clothes back over his bleeding body for Him to go be Crucified.

Steps to Calvary

Some scholars say it was about 800 yards from Pilates palace to Golgatha ("the Place of the Skull.") - 

Thats the equivalent of 8 football fields in length, - all at a uphill incline.

Remember he is nearly dead from all the beatings that he had received. 

He begins to shuffle his way through Jerusalem's narrow streets.:

"Jesus went out carrying His own cross. As they were going, they found a passerby from Cyrene coming in from the country. He was named Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus. They grabbed him, laid the cross on him, and forced him to carry it behind Jesus" (Matt. 27:32, Luke 23:26; John 19:17a)

In that day criminals were made to carry their own cross to the place of the crucifixion. One more humiliation . 

We don't know if Christ carried the whole cross of just the cross beam. Whichever it was His back was so shredded by the scourging that He must have experienced some intense pain. The Bible tells us He stumbled and fell to the ground, unable to carry it farther. Seeing this, a solider that it would be funny to make a Jew carry the cross fro another. _ and Simon from Cyrene was picked out  random

Luke 23:27

²⁷ And there followed him a great multitude of the people and of women who were mourning and lamenting for him.

Many women were weeping and mourning for Jesus and  werent necessarily of His disciples. Maybe they'd heard Him speak, or were somehow aware of His ministry. Perhaps they'd never seen a person as beat up as Jesus was. whatever the reason these women were wailing and screaming at the pitiful sight of Jesus Stumbling to his death.

Jesus stops for a moment and turns to them and says:

“Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. ²⁹ For behold, the days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren and the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ ³⁰  Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us,’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us.’ ³¹ For if they do these things when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

The Scourging of Jesus

 Just a heads up from here on out  it will be getting pretty "graphic"
while I know that it can make us wince in pain and just not enjoy reading or learning about the pain that Jesus went through.
As I have been researching and reading, I have gotten "squimmish" it was difficult to read. But I think that it is really important for us to learn and for us to understand of how much Jesus went through for us! - He did it out of love. :) please keep that in mind while reading all of this.also, please keep in mind that I am getting alot of my information from the book :


"A Walk with Christ to the Cross" by Dawson McAllister.  A wonderful book, and I highly recommend.


The Scourging of Jesus.
Scourging was a practice that was  from the Romans. It was an extremely cruel.


Soldiers would tear all the clothes off a victim, then tie his hands to a pole, leaving him hunched over with his back exposed.

The scourge itself was called a "cat of nine tails".
It was a sturdy stick with nine strips of leather attached to it, at the end of each strip was a hard leather ball, and along the sides were woven pieces of sharpened bone and iron.





A trained soldier was to swing it in to the victims back, while another trained soldier would watch his breathing to make sure he didnt die. - Scourging was called the 'half-death' they didnt want to kill the victim, they wanted him to suffer a bit more. They'd  leave him just short of death.


So theres the soldier swinging the cat of nine tails into the victims back pulling out chunks of skin, with just a few strokes the flesh could be torn all the way to the muscle and even to the bone. 


Keep in mind this is the second time within a few hours that Jesus had nearly died. The first time being when he was in the Garden of Gethsemane - remember when he was super stressed and just in a terrible state?


John 19
⁴ Pilate went out again and said to them, “See, I am bringing him out to you that you may know that I find no guilt in him.” ⁵ So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!”


Pilate was saying , Look at this pathetic, bleeding Jew - hasn't he had enough? When the crowd saw Him they weren't satisfied. - They wanted more bloodshed... the crowd began to chant louder "Crucify Crucify!" they were out of control! on the verge of starting a riot!


John 19:6-
⁶ When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, “Crucify him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no guilt in him.” 


Pilate was angry- out of anger he said to the leaders and said to take Him and go crucify Jesus. - But Pilate didnt find him guilty. 


The Jews could see things changing in their favor, so they responded "We have a law ... by our law He ought to die because He claimed  to be the Son of God" (John 19:7)
Pilate didnt want to mess with Jesus; he was trying his best to get rid of Him. - When he heard the new claim that he was claiming to be God, this took things to a different level. 


John 19
⁸ When Pilate heard this statement, he was even more afraid. ⁹  He entered his headquarters again and said to Jesus, “Where are you from?”


Where in the world did you come from?
Jesus didnt answer though. He had already told Pilate  that His kindom was not of this world. This made Pilate more frustrated.
John 19 
¹⁰ So Pilate said to him, “You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?”¹¹ Jesus answered him, “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”


Jesus is so gracious. Even under great stress. - He was aying, Hey Pilate, you think you're in control, but God's allowing this to happen. You're a bit player on a stage, you didnt deliver Me up, the Jews did. and they're the ones who have the greater sin. 


Pilate asked them "Should I Crucify your king?" 
-"We have no King, Except for Caesar!" Said the Chief priests.
When Pilate saw that he couldnt disuade them, but insdead a riot was in the making, he took some water and washed his hands in front of the crowd and said "im innocent of the blood of this righteous Man. You will be witnessses of the fact." All the people answered, "His blood be on us and on our children" [ Matt 27:24-25)


One last time Pilate went out into the crows. -this time the Jewish leaders revealed their final ploy. - It was like a ddagger thrust deep into Pilate's heart. They sneered " you're a Jesus lover - well we'll tell Caesar of this Jesus who said He was a king, and how you sided with Him. wait until he hears this...."
Pilate then was forced to make a decision, was it his life or was it Christ's life? His Job or Christs?.... Pilate chose his way rather than Christ. - He turned against Jesus, and decieded to have him murdered. 
Barabbas was realeased, but Jesus was handed over to be crucified.


Pilates role was now over. Its unknown to what happened to him after that day. 

Trial #5 & 6 of Jesus

Trial #5
Friday 6-7am


Jesus before Herod
Luke 23
⁶ On hearing this, Pilate asked if the man was a Galilean. ⁷ When he learned that Jesus was under Herod’s jurisdiction, he sent him to Herod, who was also in Jerusalem at that time.

⁸ When Herod saw Jesus, he was greatly pleased, because for a long time he had been wanting to see him. From what he had heard about him, he hoped to see him perform a sign of some sort. ⁹ He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰ The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him. ¹¹ Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him. Dressing him in an elegant robe, they sent him back to Pilate. ¹² That day Herod and Pilate became friends —before this they had been enemies.

Herod was a godless and superstitious man. Jesus was aware that he was evil and his ways sickened him. 

Herod was excited to meet Jesus , hoping to see some miracles, he was hoping he'd be able to see a magic show... Jesus didn't comply. Herod pressed for entertainment, wanting Jesus to perform miracles, but Jesus stood calmly not saying a word. [ When Jesus isn't saying a word, kinda a big deal....]

after while it became awkward, and Herod realized he didn't want to get mixed up with this - so he mocked Jesus, and having his soldiers pretend to worship him, Herod got a few laughs, but then sent Jesus back to Pilate.

Trial #6

Friday 7-8am

Back to Pilate.

This is Jesus' 6th and final trial. 

who knows how Pilate felt when he saw the Jewish leaders and the soldiers bringing Christ back - Probably not very happy though - Now he was caught in a dilemma - He knew Jesus was innocent - but knew that the Jews would complain to Caesar if he didn't act. Also people were beginning to wake up  and making their way through the courtyard. possibly 2,00-3,000 were now crowded on the palace grounds, curious to see Jesus on trial, and Pilate needed the situation to go away and fast.

John 23:

¹³ Pilate called together the chief priests, the rulers and the people, ¹⁴ and said to them, “You brought me this man as one who was inciting the people to rebellion. I have examined him in your presence and have found no basis for your charges against him. ¹⁵ Neither has Herod, for he sent him back to us; as you can see, he has done nothing to deserve death. ¹⁶ Therefore, I will punish him and then release him.” ^[17] [a]
18 But the whole crowd shouted, “Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us!” ¹⁹ (Barabbas had been thrown into prison for an insurrection in the city, and for murder.)




The Barabbas trick
- Passover was an especially volatile time in the city of Jerusalem. Every year, Jews from all over would gather and praise God for His deliverance from the Egyptians.


Pilate devised a plan- Each year the Romans would release a Jewish prisoner during Passover - a gesture of goodwill, So he used this as his advantage- He would give the people a choice between Jesus and a criminal named Barabbas  -- Barabbas was a bad guy - robber, murderer and just a terrible person.
Pilate thought that surely if you have Jesus on one side and Barabbas on the other, the crowd will choose to release  Barabbas ...


[Pilate changed up his leadership style... from one man ruling, to many people ruling... ]


Everything was ruined because of his wife.- Mrs. Pilate - during that morning she was awakened when Jesus was brought in the fist time, - She fell back to sleep, and had a bad nightmare - we don't know what exactly she dreamed but bottom line was : Please don't mess with Jesus, for He is a righteous man. I've suffered many things on account of this dream.


¹⁸ But the whole crowd shouted, “Away with this man! Release Barabbas to us!” ¹⁹ (Barabbas had been thrown into prison for an insurrection in the city, and for murder.)


the Jewish leaders must have said to the people "you want to show Pilate how much we hate them?-Pilate has become a Jesus lover, vote Barabbas"


at this point Pilate realizes that he is losing this shouting match. - He moves on to plan B: "sympathy of the crowd"-- Where basically he would take Jesus back inside, beat him, nearly to death, then maybe the people would feel sorry for Jesus, and then would want Jesus to go through.... 


"Pilate took Jesus and had Him flogged." (John 19:1) 


I will post on the next blog on the details of the flogging of Jesus. 
Thank you for you patience and for reading these posts :)

Trial #3&4, and Judas' end.

Friday 3:00am - 5am
Trial #3
This is where the sentencing ttook place. - there was to be a break of 24 hours between th conviction and the sentencing, but in Jesus' case there was only 2 hours.
After He  appeared before Annas, leaders put Jesus into a holding area, possilby a dungeon nearby. We do not know if had food or water, but he was in there for about 2 hours. Then they brought him out for sentencing.

Matthew 27

 ¹ Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. ² So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor.

it was about 5am - Jesus is brought back to court for sentencing. They said to him " Now lets go through this one more time. Are You the Messiah?" Christ responds with an answer that, at first seems confusing " If I should tell you, you wouldn't believe." 

These people were not looking for the God's Anointed one... They were looking for the Messiah that was to destroy the Roman empire. And they were not convinced that this guy was the one that was to be dying for peoples sins. 

- Jesus was saying  = Even if I told you what the Messiah is really like, you wont believe Me. " If I should ask you a question you wont answer Me." 

This wasnt Jesus' first encounter with these people. - He'd talked to them many times about  this very thing. and He knew that their hearts were hardened beyond he could ever change.

Then the leader's asked him "So,  you're the Son of God??" - if they could catch Jesus blaspheming God's name, they'd be putting Him to death - blasphemy was a capital offense. Jesus wasn't blaspheming, and both His life and words proved that. But the leaders chose to ignore His teachings. They  were blinded to the truth of His claims, Thus, the relegated HIm to the status of being a mocker and blasphemer. 

When Jesus answered truthfully by saying "its just as you say: 'I AM,'" the leaders then cried out "he deserves to die." they grabbed Him, and bound Him and took Him to the Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate.

Judas' End.

During the trial in the courtroom, outside something else was going on outside the city.

Matthew 27: 

³ When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. ⁴ “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

   “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

 ⁵ So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

Apparently Judas had been following the trials of Jesus, to see what the outcome was to be of his betrayal. When he saw that Jesus was going to be put to death, he had a change of mind. - He was filled with guild, realized that he was responsible for the innocent Christ being tortured and sentenced to die. 

Before realizing the consequences of his sin, Jesus enjoyed being the center of attention. He delighted in his power and the money that had come his way. 

But now he was filled with guilt. the 30 pieces of silver he had wanted so bad now haunted him, leaving him empty. He went to the chief priests, hoping to remove this guilt by them taking this money back.

Judas was mistaken - they had used him for their own wicked plans, they wanted nothing to do with Judas now, and were irritated that he came back, at an important hour. They cruelly sent him way saying "what does that matter to us, deal with that yourself." If Judas has been truly repentant.  If only he had asked forgiveness for his horrible sin. Instead he was overcome with guilt and despondency. Throwing the silver at the feet of the elders, Judas fled the temple, found a tree overhanging a cliff and hung himself.

Jesus before Pilate

Friday 6-7am
Trial #4

The Jewish leaders hated Pilate, and despised the fact they had to seek permission  to put Jesus to death. Yes, they had passed their own judgments, but Romans had the last word in capital punishment. What made matters worse was that it was now Passover weekend, a time of heightened political and social tension. The leaders knew Pilate would be cautious during this major holiday. Pilate hated the Jews too. Pilate was feeling pressure from his boss, Tiberius. 

Tiberius was a cruel and paranoid individual, known to kill people for the littlest thing - or none at all. Meaning that Pilate and other provincial governors  were subject to the whims of this crazy man.

SO - Here they are in Pilate's courtyard, early on this Friday morning, - one side was the Jewish leaders, and the other side, was Pilate. Between them there was the greatest Jew ever lived - Jesus the Messiah. 

Jesus Before Pilate

e

At first everything goes well. 

Pilate says to the leaders "what accusation do you bring against this man? what's the charge?

-They don't have a charge... But they didn't want say to Piate, "see this pathetic, bleeding Jew right here? He says He's God! And that makes us mad."

if they would have started with that then Pilate would have said "take your silly religion and get lost." 

So they didn't have a formal charged so they had to improvise.  "Look Governor - we're the supreme court, do you think we are here on Passover weekend because we want to be here?- Don't you think this is serious? - Pilate, just please, give us the 'go-ahead' and kill Him." 
Pilate wasnt in the mood to play their game. - Besides this was a good way for him to really get at the Jews. - Which he dedpised. so he said to them " You have your own law- do what you have to do" this forced them to say - "we're not permitted to put anyone to death." 
They must have hated to admit that they were subject to Roman law. 
But by having to go through the Roman law they would actually be fulfilling prophesy. 

If Christ would have been killed by the Jews rather than Romans, he wouldn't have been Crucified, instead by stoning... God didn't want  Christ to die by stoning. - Stoning would have been a very quick death. Stoning is gruesome, but not near as gruesome and humbling as the crucifixion. God wanted His On, Jesus Christ, to die a horrible death and to be lifted up for all to see. 
Perhaps  he knew that we was modern Americas we would need something graphic to get our attention. The crucifixion gets our attention. 

False Accusations-

^{Luke  232} And they began to accuse him, saying, “We have found this man subverting our nation. He opposes payment of taxes to Caesar and claims to be Messiah, a king.”

 ³ So Pilate asked Jesus, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

   “You have said so,” Jesus replied.

 ⁴ Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.”

 ⁵ But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.”

the first 2 of these charges - being a bad influence and not paying taxes weren't going to fly with Pilate. The third, got pilates attention:"... Saying that He Himself is Messiah, a King." 

You can see what Pilate's thinking here.. "a king? there's only one king Caesar... what will happen  if Tiberius hears about this on Passover weekend? This was the one weekend that Jews celebrated their freedom for the Egyptians, he didnt want to hear about them getting their freedom from Rome either. 
Jesus' reactions to the charges blew Pilate's Mind - Pilate was used to people pleading for mercy. - But there's Christ - in dignity, silent before the charges, 
He was beaten and bleading, sweat and blood mixed together and matted his hair. BUt He denies Pilates demand that he defend Himelf... he stood there calmly not saying a single word. 
Pilate decided to take Jesus  where the Jews wouldnt follow, he wanted to talk to Jesus one-on-one. - and hearing first hand what this is all about.
Pilate asked Jesus if He was the King of the Jews, - The reply was  very straightforward - Yes you're right... its just as you're saying - but do you really care? 
THis made pilate mad "Am I a Jew?" - He ated the Jews. - 
"your own nation and chief of priests delivered you to me, so you mist have done something very  bad in order to be in so much trouble, to have them bring you to me on Passover weekend ...
THis must have broken Jesus' heart. 
The people rejected him , but he remained  cool and calm in the midst of all of Pilates insults.

John 18:36

³⁶ Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

--Basically he's saying - Look Pilate, I'm not a threat to the Roman Empire, I don't have an army, If I did, then don't you think they'd be fighting for Me right now? Don't you think they would've begun fighting the moment I was arrested? I have no army, for My kingdom is not of this world. 

John 18: 37-38a

You are a king, then!” said Pilate.

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

³⁸ “What is truth?” retorted Pilate. 

By this time Pilate doesn't want to talk about the truth - and then Jesus said "I am the way the life, and the Truth. 
Pilate never got the clue.- He no doubt had head philosophers talking about the truth, but he turned away the one person who would have shown him ultimate truth.

After interviewing Jesus, Pilate was convinced that He wasnt a threat. and considered the charged that He was brought on silly. -- How could a Jew that was beated, worn down, and collapsing be a threat to the Roman Empire?
Pilate went outside and told the Jews what he thought - get outta here... 

Luke 23:4-5

⁴ Then Pilate announced to the chief priests and the crowd, “I find no basis for a charge against this man.”

⁵ But they insisted, “He stirs up the people all over Judea by his teaching. He started in Galilee and has come all the way here.

Then Pilates ears perked up when they mentioned "Galilee".. .why? 

Pilate didn't rule over Galilee... Herod did... and do you know who was in town  that weekend??- Yup, Herod, So he decided to hand Him over to Herod.