Friday, May 25, 2012

Dating?Single?... Guard Your Heart.

This is a topic that has touched my heart, and you may see more about it later... in fact you can probably count on it. This is intended for teens, singles, young adults, if you're dating.... most likely for girls, (since I'm writing from a girl's point of view) but I think guys can learn from it as well....
if you arent in that category, dont feel left out, you can still read :)

I by far am not perfect, nor have I been, I want to put that out there right now. One thing I've realized... you can change. you can turn around. It's never too late.
No matter how far you think you are... you can still change.
You can have a relationship that God intended.

maybe you are in a relationship and you're reading this, and you know that it is not the kind of relationship that God has intended for you.
you can change.
You can turn around. But its your decision. no one elses. If you want a change for your life, you will have to take the first step to turn around or do what you need to do. No one else can make that decision for you.

Maybe you are single and are yearning to be in a relationship with someone... I hope you can gain some perspective on all of this.

I've been in relationships, I've dated. I've been with guys who I knew I wasnt going to marry, and yet I still was in a relationship with them.

I know that Im not the only one here. I know people personally and people that I hear about,
... But I think that there is alot of people that struggle with this - They struggle in relationships.They struggle with dating, and wanting to date.They struggle with being with someone because they feel that they 'have to' or feel obligated to. They struggle because they know that that person is not helping them in any way.

Most people (especially in their younger years - teens and young adults) they think whats best for me right now... they think in the moment, not the future.
I know I did. it was selfish. - I was thinking about what I wanted right then. I never thought about how it would effect my life in the future... 
Like many people I dated a few guys in high school, and a few after. A few of them were long term, a few of them were very short. I do not know the psychology behind it all, but im sure you could do some kind of analysis on it... at times I wonder "why was I even with that guy..." -- because at that time I saw something in him... people around me may have said "what do you see in him?" or "why are you with him" or "he isnt good for you."
What did I do? ignored them. I thought I knew everything...boy was I wrong.
I wasnt thinking. it didnt even cross my mind that this guy was not for me, this guy is not the guy that God intended for me to be with....
I was a teenager, wasnt thinking about the man that God intended me to be with.... wish I would have, though... oh I wish I would have, would have been so much better.[but everything happens for a reason]
it would have been better because I wouldnt have wasted time, energy, feelings, and heartache afterwards. I would have really been preparing my heart for that man that God created for me. not living in the moment, and not following God.

Speaking from a girls point of view, well at least mine. I just feel like so many young women are with a guy... just to be with a have that 'facebook relationship status' of  "in a relationship"... you're taken. you aren't single... you have someone that you are with.  being "in a relationship" isnt always that great.

Sometimes being in a relationship actually hurts us, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes it hurts us mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.
[If you are with a guy/girl that hurts you in those areas, then he is not the one for you. I can guarantee that. and no, you cannot change them.]
You are supposed to lift each other up, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, not tear the other person down. you are supposed to support one another and just help each other along. Both... not just one person.

You may be better off by having that 'single' status.
 the guy/girl  that you are with may completely demolish any kind of morals and standards that you had... they may take advantage of you, they may cross a boundary that you are not ready to cross...  you may think in your head "it will be better later" or "ill get used to it." You may believe their lies or change your life to fit them. You may think to yourself "oh well they'll change." [when will they change?]  you may think "oh they will be better if we move in together / get married"  [will it?]
I know that these things happen. I've been there, done that... these are thoughts that I've had. Im going to be honest... I wish that I would have seen things before things got worse.
I wish I would have just kept that 'single' status and waited for the guy that God intended for me to be with.
I know that "things happen for a reason"- but the things that we choose to do should not become excuses for 'things happen for a reason."

Im going to share a life story here.
After being in relationship after relationship, and was no longer in one.. I began to pray for the man that God was preparing for me.
 I met the guy that God was preparing for me just a bout 2 months after I began to pray. (God was working on me during that time too)
When Steve and I first began to date, just a few dates in, Steve told me that he had never been in a relationship before...
I asked why.... (this was all odd to me, seemed like everyone around me had been in some kind of relationship at least in high school or something...) nope. not Steve.
He said that he really wanted to be in a relationship with someone that he could see himself marrying one day... the person that God intended for him to be with....
[now this was an inspiration....]
kind of took me by surprise. like I said, everyone that I've known has at least had some kind of relationship in middle school, high school, college.

[and I had wished that I would have done the same, would have been good...]
but its something that we all need to realize...
I wish more people would learn at a young age. really take it to heart... like what Steve did.
[waiting to really date until you found someone that you really felt like they would possibly be the person that you are to marry one day.]

I know that I'll be talking about all of this in the future, and will have more verses, but for just this post, I want to really take to heart one verse:

Throughout life we hear the word "love" thrown around  with very little thought.
When in actuality it is supposed to mean something very deep, not just "I love ice cream"...
We should be living to find that ONE love.. that one person... not a shallow love, but a deep love...
Does that make sense?
now I know this is sounding like I'm saying not to date, I am not.. just saying guard your hearts when you do date, if you know that this person is not the right one for you... then its time to drop them, and move along.
Just guard your hearts and dont just give your heart away in a heartbeat.
save your full heart for that one person that God intended for you.
Don't give your heart away like its meaningless. [its not, you're more than that... you know this]
There are girls out there, [you know who you are] who have reached an age where they think that they wont ever meet a man, they wont ever get married, they will end up like a crazy cat lady, single, lonely... and wont ever meet that guy.
Dont give up. no sense in that.

God is preparing your heart for that man/woman.
and God is preparing your future husband/wife.
Please don't take it personally that you wont ever find anyone.

Want someone that you can spend eternity with, someone that will lift you up in all circumstances. Someone that will pray for and with you. Someone that is right FOR you. Someone that God created just FOR you.

Don't be rushed.

All in time everything will happen. There's a time for everything.

So once again, be careful who you date. Guard your heart. and pray for your future spouse. They are out there... :)